When Lucas opened his eyes the next morning, he felt a brief moment of panic – he had no idea where he was or how he’d gotten there, but he knew instantly that it was not his bed that he was laying in.
He pulled himself out of bed quickly and quietly, his head still foggy from drowsiness and the lingering effects of the alcohol from the night before.
It was then that he noticed the sleeping figure who had been lying beside him.
Oh my God…
The foggy memories from the night before came rushing back all at once – all those drinks at the club, the girl’s flirtatious stares, his friends’ eagerness and encouragement, those warm kisses on the roof beneath the stars, stumbling back to her house in the dark, their drunken fumbling as they undressed each other…
Lucas felt like he was going to be sick. He held his face in his hands. I need to get out of here…
He hastily grabbed his crumpled clothes from the floor and dressed as silently as he could. The girl did not stir. Lucas hesitated. Should he wake her and say something? Leave a note? He recalled her words from the night before.
“I’m not looking for anything serious, sweetie. Just a little fun…”
The memory made him feel much better about leaving no trace behind.
He slipped quietly out the front door and started walking. He was not entirely sure of how to get home, but he didn’t care. He just needed to get out of there.
Lucas’ mind was racing. He wasn’t sure what disturbed him more – what he had done, or how much he had enjoyed it. He could still taste the girl’s lips on his. He could still smell her hair. He could still feel –
Stop! He told himself. It was over. It was a mistake. It would never happen again.
He felt so dirty, so wrong. Lucas had always imagined that his first time would be romantic, special. He’d foolishly believed that, somehow, it would be with Evelyn.
Oh God, Evelyn… He couldn’t even stand to think of her. What would he tell her? Would he tell her anything at all? How could he even bear to look at her after what he’d done?
It took him more than an hour to reach home, and Lucas still felt just as confused and disgusted as he had when he’d awoken that morning. He trudged through the front door, his head hanging low as he headed for the stairs.
“Fun night last night?” His father called from the dining room table.
Lucas stopped in his tracks. Shit…
“Y-yeah.” He replied nervously, walking over toward his father with great reluctance. “Sorry I didn’t come home… I went and spent the night at Noah’s.”
His father shifted in his chair uneasily. “Really? Because Noah called just this morning… He said you left your credit card and cellphone at the bar last night.”
“Lucas, can we talk for a minute?”
Lucas’ heart sank. He could only imagine what his father must be thinking of him.
“I don’t really wanna talk about it, okay?” He said, ashamed.
Lucas had never been one to believe in casual hookups. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he’d have one. Evelyn or no Evelyn… He winced inwardly at the thought of her name.
“Your mother has no idea.” Damien assured him, his discomfort apparent on his face. “I won’t say a word… I just… I want to make sure you’re being… safe.”
He paused, almost laughing. “God, this is awkward. But… you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” He appeared to be studying his son’s face carefully. “I know you’re embarrassed… We all do things we regret, son. And I think – ”
Lucas cut him off with the sound of his chair scraping against the hardwood floor as he rose to his feet.
“Thanks, dad.” He said tersely. “But I’m fine.”
“O-okay… But if you ever need anything…” Damien watched sadly as Lucas walked quickly away and up the stairs.
He did not leave his bedroom for the rest of the day.
Evelyn waited for him all night.
Maybe he’s just tired… She tried telling herself. He probably had a long night last night.
The thought did little to quell her loneliness.
Unbeknownst to her, Lucas had crept out of his bedroom and stood at the window, watching. Part of him wanted to go to her, to tell her everything. To let her know how sorry he was, and that it would never happen again…
But he was afraid. He wasn’t ready to face her. He couldn’t. Not yet.